Guilty of Mum Guilt – With Freebie!

One thing I wasn’t prepared for when motherhood kicked off was the amount of time I’d spend feeling guilty. When I haven’t actually done anything wrong!

That DREADED mum guilt. Do you know the thing I mean? It seems to pop up everywhere, like an uninvited jack-in-the-box, with a dumb taunting face and stupid flashing fairy lights. Quite honestly, I wish it would just pee off.

It can quite happily invite itself to any situation. Wobbly toddler has a little topple (whilst you may have been checking your phone)? GUILTY. Baby gets nappy rash because you tried out those two-for-one nappies? GUILTY ONCE MORE.

And if you caught my recent post about comparing your little one to others, you’ll know I feel that panic every time I see a child acing something I haven’t taught my offspring to do.

(Ooh, excited side note – I have a FREEBIE for you at the end..!)

Guilty About the Little Things

Now here’s a mum guilt example. When I was pregnant, I read ALL OF THE BOOKS. I mean, I love a good book anyway, and who doesn’t get excited about a project(!)

Well, this one book called Brain Rules for Baby suggested that children under two shouldn’t watch TV. It was written by a very clever brain scientist, so who was I to argue. (Yes, yes, I know. First time mum with all those crazy ideals! PFFFFFFFFF.)

Mum guilt - feeling guilty about letting toddler watch TV
What, this thing? A TV? Err, no…KEEP YOUR EYES AWAY!!

Now, I was doing pretty well with this until recently….

And then Little B went through his “I’m scared of everything from a pear to cute fluffy pony” phase, and mum guilt 101 kicked in. Eek, was it because I didn’t let him near the TV? If he’d have seen David Attenborough in full Blue Planet action, would the boy be better acquainted with a duck-billed platypus? CRIKEY.

So I’m beginning to see a trend with this guilt thing. You’re damned if you do, and you’re damned if you don’t. My best advice? Do what feels right and don’t flipping stress it! That’s my new plan, anyway.

(TV situation update – when the child is having a meltdown, I now stick him in front of the telly with some nice (highly educational) cartoon or other. Bloody brilliant! Don’t go sweating about all those brain books!)

Feeling Guilty About Career Choices

I know this is a huge one for most of us. Feeling guilty about going back to work. Or feeling guilty about not going back to work. Or feeling guilty about working from home.

Do you see that ugly pattern again? Yep, you guessed it. If you’re prone to this mum guilt too, chances are you’ll feel guilty whichever choice you make.

Why is that?

Is it because you’re an extremely bad lady who leaves your child in a bush all day whilst you swan off and get your nails done? Is it because you leave them playing on the motorway whilst you sit in the office pretending to type up that report? I’m going to guess not, because all of my readers are remarkably nice people!

You feel guilty about your choices because you care. And the very fact that you care so much makes you a fantastic mum already. Mexican wave!

Mum guilt - feeling guilty? Well, don't! Here's why.
My nails? Darling, aren’t they. Now I must go and collect my child from that bush…

Don’t Feel Guilty! The Grass is Never Greener

I have mummy friends who go to work and feel guilty about it. I have mummy friends who do not go to work and feel equally guilty.

So rest assured, the grass is not greener on the other side.

If you’ve read my blog before, you may know I’m a mummy who stays at home with my toddler. I’m trying to build up a work at home business as a writer. (Did you see my post about the novel I’m writing? Or my new Work With Me page – very proud of that!)

And whilst I force myself to do the rounds of playgroups (urgh!) and soft play, I’ve certainly had my share of worry that I’m doing my child a disservice by not immersing him in the world of nursery school.

There was a point when he seemed a bit “behind” on learning to walk. Not even scarily behind, just “oh my god at least five other children on the planet are already walking” behind. And of course then I wondered if I had taken him to nursery, with kids legging it all over the place, would he be Usain Bolt by now? Like, super-fast toddler of the year?

Feeling the mum guilt? Stop it now! You're doing a fantastic job.
Run Usain, run!

Take the positives!

Yet there are swings and roundabouts. He didn’t walk early, but with me babbling in his face all day, he had a commendable grasp of important words like Hoover. (Not so sure why – I don’t get much time to use the dratted thing.)

Then I think back to my own childhood. I remember going to playgroups and making the obligatory dried pasta necklaces, but my mum worked around me, so I didn’t go to nursery. But that was great. I followed her around on her little part-time jobs, and it felt like a huge adventure.

My point is, I don’t think I missed out from not going to nursery. I grew up into a non-murderer, I seem to be able to walk OK, and I even qualified as a solicitor back in my pre-baby life.

Does that mean we should all stay at home with our kids and jack off the world of work? Hell no! Ladies, we are all human beings as well as mothers. If we want to go to work, or work from home, or sell seashells on the freaking seashore, that’s absolutely A-OK.

We all make reasoned choices, which are right for families at any given time. None of us do so selfishly.

It’s OK, Mumma

It’s OK to want a job of your own, as well as holding your mum title. Having a role in society or a career that you’re passionate about can make you a happier, more fulfilled person. And if you’re happy, then of course you’ll be mumming with an added sparkle.

Or even if it’s just a job you do to pay the bills, a break from the mum routine can be a glorious thing. It can make the time you do spend with your bambinos even more precious.

And think of the fun your tigers will be having at nursery, with granny, or whichever place you’ve chosen for them. So many new things to see and learn. You know in your heart there are heaps of positives, and that’s why your made your choice.

Mum guilt - stop feeling bad about everything! Read this and feel positive again.
Off to nursery, Mumma. Too busy to chat!

So how do we stop feeling guilty?

Ooh, well I can’t give too much away. I want you all to have my freebie downloadable guide, which is yours to keep if you stick your email address in the Subscribe box. But more about that later.

Of course, I would never leave you hanging! So how about this little trick I’ve been toying with, which seems to work a treat.


When I’m stressing over the small things, it helps me to remember just how unimportant they’ll be in the grand scheme of things. The best way I’ve found to do this is to ask myself how my mother did it all those (many) decades ago.

For example, one of my current guilt points is that my boyo naps too often (OK, always, Sleep Police!) in his pushchair. He’s comfy in there, he sleeps for ages, and the angle used to be great for his reflux. The habit has kind of stuck.

But you can be sure I worry that I’m ruining the poor child. So I tried to think back to how I used to nap at that age. You know what, I have no recollection. I just know my mum did a great job, I turned out reasonably non-feral, and I’m definitely not scarred for life about where I did or did not nap. Hell, I even quite like her!

Be kind to yourself

So there you have it. It’s all about being kind to ourselves, having faith in our choices, and keeping it all in perspective.

Your child will not resent you because you chose to beaver away at a computer three days a week so you could have nicer holidays. Your child will not remember if you forgot to wash their My Little Pony bedding that one weekend in 2017. And the thing about the nappy rash from those cheap nappies? Shh. Grab some bum cream. They’ll never even know.

So what little things do you find yourself feeling guilty about? Or maybe you have some more tips to help the rest of us. Whatever your thoughts, get BRAZEN and stick them in the comments box. You know I love your honesty.

Feeling guilty of mum guilt? Get your freebie guide.
Do not miss your downloadable FREEBIE! It’s ever so pretty…


As I mentioned above, I have a special treat for you this week. If you sign up to my blog by putting your email address in the Subscribe box, I will send you my FREE 5 Step Guide to Banishing Mum Guilt. Forever! It’s a pretty PDF affair which I made my very self. Aren’t you proud?

More excitingly, I finally cracked how to use my new fandangled email service so I can give you this freebie. This confusing technology has been making me want to cry ALL YEAR. Please don’t make me have suffered in vain!

If you’re already signed up but want your freebie (of course!), I will be sending it out to all of you via email (technology permitting!). Any problems, please get in touch via my Contact page. I don’t want any of my lovely followers to miss out.

And if you’re signed up via WordPress? You’ll need to sign up using the subscribe box this time, because technology is stinky and it won’t let me transfer WordPress contacts to my shiny new email list. And I would cry again if I lost any of you! Waaahhhhh…xx

What Next?

So, assuming you’ve added a lovely comment in the box and added your email address to the subscribe box to claim your freebie, feel free to hit one of my social share icons to spread the word all over social media.

Then why not head over to my Facebook page – and make sure you press the like button so you can follow the daily antics.

If you enjoyed this post, my motivational kicks about not comparing yourself to others and beating the overwhelming feeling of having too much stuff to do were MADE FOR YOU! Hop on over and take a look. Thanks for reading! xx

Photo Credits

TV lady – Photo by Mohammad Metri on Unsplash

Nails lady – from Pixabay, via Pexels

Snail – Photo by Sarah Trummer from Pexels

Teddy bear – Photo by Mike Bird from Pexels

Giveaway – Photo by Don Agnello on Unsplash

Featured image – Photo by Bernard Hermant on Unsplash




49 Replies to “Guilty of Mum Guilt – With Freebie!”

  1. Amazing!! Love the freebie idea too! Your tech skills are whizzing past mine it’s incredible! Well done on another amazing post! Keep up all the hard work!

    Nanny M xx

    1. My tech skills suck! But I do love to try. 😂 Thanks for taking time out to read and comment. You’re wonderful. Xx

  2. Mum guilt is no fun, but we seriously need to give ourselves a break. We are doing the best we can, and that is good enough. The guilt will never go away, but the main thing is to try not to allow it to consume you :).

    1. Amen to that, wise lady. Definitely don’t let the pesky thing eat you up. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Xx

  3. Great Post, mummy guilt is so real. I find it helps to talk with other mums who feel it too, we have a laugh about the silly things we feel guilty for

    1. Yes! Fab to open the discussion, so we all know we’re in it together. Thank you so much for getting involved. Xx

  4. Sadly I think a lot of our Mum guilt stems from how we think others will judge us for our actions. As Mums we definitely need to work hard to build each other up and support each other’s choices. #DreamTeam

    1. You have such a good point there. There’s definitely far too much judging in some camps, and there’s no need. We’re all just doing our best! Thanks for your comment, my lovely. Xx

  5. YES!! Struggling with anxiety, I thought I had random guilt before, but Mum guilt is next level! The things you can find yourself feeling guilty about now are quite frankly bizarre! (I’m Till deep in the swallowing 5p guilt…..) X

    1. I did think about the whole mum guilt thing when you told the five pence story! Eek. Did it come out the other end yet? Did you pick up some suitable utensils?! Xx

  6. Ah mummy guilt! Don’t ya just love it! Sometimes i feel as if I don’t beat myself up enough so I feel guilty for not feeling guilty.

    Looking forward to the PDF popping in to my inbox 💕

    1. Oh no, guilty for not feeling guilty. That’s a thought! If you’re signed up via WordPress you just need to pop your email address in the subscribe box, and the PDF will ping straight out to you. (WordPress subscribers don’t have an email address recorded, so there’s no place to send it to. It’s all still new to my techno-phobe brain – hope that makes sense.) Thank you so much for getting involved. Xx

    1. That sucks! They should know better than to make you feel like that. All kids are different. We’ve been in and out of paediatricians with feeding and allergy issues, but luckily they’ve been ok with us so far. I’m sure you’re doing a fantastic job. Xx

  7. I definitely considered having a baby to be a “project” and read all of the books, didn’t do me any good whatsoever! X

    1. I’m sure you had access to all of the books too, in that library of yours! I do love a good project. Xx

  8. The mommy guilt 😬 it’s constantly something! And when I don’t feel guilty about something I stop and question myself…. and start feeling guilty about not feeling guilty 🤷‍♀️ thank you for sharing your experience! And absolutely agree with your statement that grass is not greener on the other side.

    1. You’re not the first person to say they’ve felt guilty about not feeling guilty at times. Aren’t we complex creatures! Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. Xx

  9. Feeling guilty as a parent is exhausting and all consuming at times, so it is always helpful to hear ‘be kind to yourself’. This is something I need to do more 🙂

    1. Yes, definitely be kind to yourself. We don’t want you exhausted. Thanks so much for reading. Xx

  10. Mum guilt is the worst! It can strike when you least expect it. I often feel guilty that I didn’t go back to work so we have less money for the kids….. but then if I had gone back to work I’d have felt guilty for not being at home with the boys. You just can’t win can you!

    1. I know exactly what you mean! We can only win by conquering it, I’m sure. Thank you for taking the time to comment. Xx

    1. Oh, bless you. I haven’t tried this “going out” they speak of! But no doubt the guilt gremlins would jump in my handbag and hitch a ride… Thanks for reading. Xx

  11. All of us feel that dreaded Mum guilt – I think it is in our DNA! Sometimes we do have to put ourselves first.

    1. Maybe we’d be a little bit on the bad side with no guilt at all! Ooh. Yes, we deserve to think about ourselves sometimes too. Xx

  12. OMG, mum guilt! Yes! I only work part time, and I still feel guilty for those two days a week my kids have to stay at after school club right up until dinner time.

    1. It’s crazy, isn’t it. Two days a week is nothing, and I’m sure they have the best time with their friends! Be kind to yourself, my lovely. Xx

  13. I love this, can totally relate to feeling so guilty all the time for being a mummy. Great work. Signed up… Lots of love and support from me, Side Hustle Family. ♥

    Sarah Jane ♥🎯

    1. Fab, thank you Sarah Jane! Loving your support. Don’t feel guilty, I know you must be acing it. You’ve got so much love to give. Xx

  14. I feel like I should be doing better about so many things. I’m not great at being at home so I don’t do that well, I can’t really work so I don’t do that either. It’s important to see what I do do.. if I could just see it for the value that it is. #itsok

    1. I know what you mean, Mumma. I’m also good at noticing what I don’t do well, and forgetting to celebrate what I’m good at. So let’s promise to go easy on ourselves. Starting from…NOW! 😂 Thanks for getting involved. Xx

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