If you are the proud owner of small humans, you’re in for a treat today. I have the honour of introducing you to this stunning book, Five Minutes, Alfie – AND – if you keep reading, there’s a fantastic GIVEAWAY. Now, don’t say I don’t look after you!
Brazen Mummy Writes is part of the book tour for this delightful new children’s book, written by the talented Lily Mae Walters.
Firstly, let me show you the thing they call “the blurb”, which is that fun teaser on the back of the book:
The Blurb for Five Minutes, Alfie
Alfie snuggles down in bed, dreams still in his little head.
He dreams he’s a king going out for a ride. “A dragon sleeps in front of the gate,” they cried.
Ooh, I’ve got a treat in store for you this week. Drum roll. We’re having a special guest – and she’s bubbling over with ideas on how to keep your kids quiet over the holidays. Erm, I mean lovely toddler learning games…
Now here’s the thing. I’ve bitched about toddler groups. I’ve moaned about tantrums. So the heat is really on to keep this child of mine entertained. And seeing as his becoming a brain surgeon is pretty much my retirement plan, it needs to be educational as well as fun. I do like to multi-task.
So that’s why I’ve brought one of my lovely blogger friends, Nanny Maryanne, to the rescue. Her website is here if you can’t resist knowing more:
She’s here to help me, and of course you delightful bunch, with her invaluable Nanny advice on toddler learning games. She’s going to divulge some invaluable tips on easy games you can play at home without having to fork out for a bunch of stuff (and fill your house with more kiddie crap!).
Yep, how lucky are we. The advice of an actual professional Nanny without having to pay for a thing. Bloody hell, we’re getting dead fancy.
I’ve got to say, this toddler tantrum malarkey has pounced on me like a mugger from a bush. I mean, I’d heard all about these terrible twos, but give me a break. My kid’s barely one!
There’s no doubt about it – toddlers are angsty little suckers. It’s like they have all the “why the hell are you getting in my face” rage of a teenager, but with an even worse ability to express themselves. At least teenagers can talk (well, grunt).
It seems like it’s all going on for these toddlers. Teething, the dreaded leaps, having to learn to do ALL OF THE STUFF. No wonder they get ranty.
Now I don’t know much about much, but I’ve been trying out a few tricks in the interests of trying to keep my sanity in the eye of the storm. So I thought I’d share what works for me.
Now don’t go shooting me down in flames. This may be a tad controversial, and I accept playgroups are a lifeline to many mums, and super great for the little ones, blah blah blah. But come on. Don’t they sometimes just annoy you?
And I’m not trying to put you off them. If you haven’t been, go with a friend, and all of this stuff will be hilarious. These are not ten universal truths, just my sarcastic take on the matter. Probably on a bad day.
*Secures her bullet proof vest for the onslaught*
Argh, here goes:
Playgroup Truth #1
Small strangers try to touch you. They are sticky. They have A LOT of breakfast encrusted around their faces and they may be snotty. Their parent/guardian types are not parenting or guarding, they are playing Candy Crush Saga on their mobile phones at an unsafe distance.