An Apology to My Mother
I didn’t realise what a mother was until I became one.
When I was a child, you were someone who took charge of all the things and told me I couldn’t stay up late playing Barbie Rock Star. In my heart I was grateful you were always there with your hugs and your patience, but I didn’t realise it then.
When I was a teenager, you were someone who nagged about short skirts and said no to bad boyfriends. In my heart, I was grateful you showed me how to be strong and brave and to believe in myself, but I didn’t realise it then.
When I grew up, you became a best friend. I was growing into you – we liked the same things. We scavenged at flea markets, fought over bargains, shared inspiration. But that wasn’t all you were. I didn’t realise it then.
Now That I Am a Mother
Now that I am a mother, though still new, I begin to sense what it means – the sheer enormity of what you have given.
Those nine long months of joy and fear, not knowing how they will end or what you will become. Your body stretching, getting ready to burst.
The pain and emotion of childbirth, like a dreadful roller coaster. Willing to endure anything for your happy, healthy ending. Then finally able to leave; tired and clueless, your hopes and dreams wrapped up in a blanket. The terror of breaking such a delicate thing. A thing that is yours to keep.
The dedication of giving your life to the upbringing of a small human being. The twenty-four hour sleepless devotion, the unwavering love. The toil without gratitude. The tears, the tantrums, the endless tasks. No time to yourself. Who are you anyway?
And That’s Just the Beginning
And that’s just the beginning; a drop in the ocean of this thing they call motherhood. I cannot yet appreciate all you have done or what else is yet to come. But I know there will be plenty.
So I just wanted to say sorry. Sorry that I did not appreciate all you had done. All you had given. Sorry that I took your efforts for granted. That I put you through hell with bad boyfriends and dreadful skirts.
And thank you. Thank you for all the love, the fun, the dedication to the whirlwind that is motherhood. Thank you for not minding about any of it. For taking it in your stride as part of the job. For laughing, and hugging and loving anyway.
Thank you for being my mum, my cheerleader, my protector against bad things. Thank you for being a giggly warm Grandma to my toddling bundle of joy.
But most of all thank you for just being my friend.; silly, stubborn, inspirational, kind. My original Brazen Mummy.
Over to You
What are your thoughts this Mother’s Day? Did your understanding of motherhood change when you became one? Maybe you aren’t a mother yourself, but you still appreciate yours to the fullest extent – don’t get me wrong, I know my pre-mum selfishness is probably entirely my own! (Some of my best people are non-mums – who doesn’t love hanging out with people who don’t rabbit on about kids! He hee…)
What Next?
It’s not over! I need you. If you enjoyed this post, I’d be OVER THE MOON if you’d do the following:
- Scroll down/across and stick your email address in the Subscribe box, to sign up for further posts.
- Add a little comment in the box a bit further down (even if it’s just yay, I don’t hate you!)
- SHARE SHARE SHARE on social media! You just need to press one of the square social icons. Mwah. Xx
Give Me More!
If you want more of the same, why not take a look at these posts too:
https://brazenmummywrites.co.uk/2019/03/21/world-poetry-day-for-you/
https://brazenmummywrites.co.uk/2019/02/14/from-my-heart-to-yours-yours-which-did-not-beat-for-long/
Credit for Featured Image – Photo by Carl Attard from Pexels
Tales From Mamaville
Twins Tantrums and Cold Coffee
This is just beautiful! It’s so nice to hear your background and where you and your mama bear come from!
As always, amazing post and I am always excited to read more! Thank you 🙂
Nanny M x
Wow, if the wonderful Nanny M approves that’s praise indeed! You’re the real life Mary Poppins. Xx 🌂
Awh hehe that’s so lovely of you! Keep up the amazing work as always xxx
What a lovely post. It really shows how much we don’t apprechiate the parenting at the time of growing up!
Thanks. The innocence of childhood, hey!
Beautifully written, and you’ve captured it so well! I also did not truly appreciate everything my mother had given until I became a mother myself.
Thanks Jenni. It’s not just me then! Phew. X
Loved this! It was beautiful. Hope you and your mum had a lovely mother’s day!
Thanks Sophie. We had a fab time thank you. X
This is gorgeous and it’s so true we never realise the enormity of the meaning of our mums until we become one xx
Thanks Talya. It’s a huge role isn’t it! Xx
This is so lovely. Becoming a Mother put a lot of things into perspective, things that you take for granted until you’ve been on that journey.
Yes Charlotte, that’s exactly it. Well put! X
I was awful to my Mum as a teenager and I have said sorry more than a few times now I’m a parent myself.
Oh no, me too! Our poor mothers. X
I think I only really realised what my mum went through when I had my own kids, I feel guilty for how awful I was to her at times! I spoil her rotten these days!
More mum guilt for us to add to the list! Well done for making it up to her. X
It changes massively, I’d always been super close to my Mum, did things for her, helped out where I could but once I became a Mum I really understood all that being a Mum meant to her as I now felt the same.
This is a beautiful piece, thank you for sharing so honestly x
Thanks Claire. You sound like a lovely daughter to have! XX
Thank you, I wish she was still here to agree with that sentiment x x
I’m sure you made her extremely proud. Xx
You’ve put it so beautifully. I ‘d like to think that Mums know how much we appreciate them, even if we can be a bit rubbish at showing it… especially when we are young!
That’s a positive thought. Let’s hope so! Thanks for commenting. Xx
My Mum is absolutely loving the karma now I’m a parent, I suppose she’s entitled to!
Ha ha, yes. My mum’s a bit like that already! Daren’t say my little one wears me out, otherwise I get to hear all about what a handful I was at that age! Xx
Such a lovely post, I don’t think any of us really appreciate our own mums until we become mums ourselves. I certainly didn’t x
Thanks Sonia. That seems to be the general consensus. Poor mums! Xx
Perfect words. It’s impossible to understand the enormity of motherhood until you’re a mother yourself. I’m sure your Mom would never want you to apologise though, it’s all part of the job. ☺️
Thanks Jo. I think you’re right – apologies not expected! Good old mums. Xx
What a great post. Such a beautiful reminder that you really don’t understand what your mom did for you until you become a mom. I recall a few situations from my childhood when I thought why is she doing that? And now, not only do I totally get it, but I also do the same things😂
Me too! I’m always coming out with the same trusty catchphrases. What are we like! Xx
Couldn’t have written it better myself. Something clicks when you become a Mum…you just suddenly get it. Love this post, it’s beautiful.
Thank you, that’s very sweet of you. And you’re right – something does just click. Thank goodness! X
So beautiful and so true. Love this!
Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it! X
I love this piece. Beautifully written and so pure and genuine which I really do love xx
Thank you – what a lovely thing to say. Xx
This is lovely, I completely agree, I never appreciated all my mother did for me until now. I’m glad I’ll hopefully get a chance to tell her
Yay – at least we came good in the end! Xx
This is a beautiful post… straight from the heart and so touching. It is so true – we don’t realise what our parents did/ sacrificed for us till we become parents ourselves. Thanks for sharing this lovely read with us at #itsok
Thank you my dear. Glad it made some sense! Thanks for all your hard work with the linky. X
Happy to have you as part of the #itsok family! Hope to see you every week:)
Sounds good to me! Xx
Ah what a beautiful post! Sounds like you have a lovely relationship with your mum. Thanks for linking up to #ItsOK.
Thank you! And it was my pleasure. Xx
This is absolutely amazing and I so get it!!!
Thanks Danielle! Thank you for reading. Xx
What a special post for your mom! Nothing beats the relationship between a mom and her daughter! #itsok
Thanks Jacqui. You’re right about that! Xx
This was lovely, I feel like you’ve said what I feel about my mom since I became one. Since I told my mom I was pregnant she was so supportive, she has been my rock since having my daughter and she’s so amazing. I didn’t appreciae her as a teenager but I certainly do now!
Viv @ https://www.vivsimone.com
It sounds like you have a wonderful mum. It’s great that you have such a beautiful bond. Xx