Now don’t go shooting me down in flames. This may be a tad controversial, and I accept playgroups are a lifeline to many mums, and super great for the little ones, blah blah blah. But come on. Don’t they sometimes just annoy you?
And I’m not trying to put you off them. If you haven’t been, go with a friend, and all of this stuff will be hilarious. These are not ten universal truths, just my sarcastic take on the matter. Probably on a bad day.
*Secures her bullet proof vest for the onslaught*
Argh, here goes:
Playgroup Truth #1
Small strangers try to touch you. They are sticky. They have A LOT of breakfast encrusted around their faces and they may be snotty. Their parent/guardian types are not parenting or guarding, they are playing Candy Crush Saga on their mobile phones at an unsafe distance.
I’ve been mulling it over since Little B was born, and generally putting it off. Of course it’s easy to put things off when you have a baby to keep alive. You barely have time to clean your teeth for the first few months. Then the weaning starts and you’re busy chiselling dried up pea puree from every flipping surface. Then the blighters start crawling and tearing your house up – so there’s never a good time to be mucking around with a blog.
Impostor Syndrome – Look at All the Proper Mums!
But maybe the real reason is I wasn’t quite sure if I was a proper mum yet. At least not one that had anything useful to say. When I looked at other mummy blogs they all seemed to be juggling multiple kids and being gorgeous and hilarious all at once. Some of them even made dainty cupcakes and nice bits of jewellery out of pasta. Bloody hell. Maybe those are the proper mums. I don’t even have a proper mum car.